After the opera got over exactly a month back, life s been pretty empty. When the first reviews came out and my interpretation was trashed, I was broken.... even that would be an understatement....
But then the back to back housefull shows made me realize audience loved what was on stage. Which person on this world does not crave for love and appreciation. And I, strangely, need it more often than not.
Probably this will remain the first and last opera I ever direct.
But the feeling of engulfment, the emotional whirlpool, the fact that I was almost fired 3 days before the first share (I still hate myself for coming across as a control freak) and the final standing ovation and applause will remain inscribed in my heart. Life s much back to normal now. Routine stuff, get my HSMP visa, look for a worthwhile job... Gawd I wanna settle in France doing something simple and lost from the world., try and settle my personal affairs, which look like now boring chapters of a never ending Ekta Kapoor soap. Then there s the case of being terribly homesick, wanting to be with my own people, my friends, mum n dad......
Looking for my new dream, 6 months have already passed and am nowhere close to knowing what I want in life next. Inshallah sukoon ki neend durr nahin :)
And yes, one thing which does not change despite upheavals, in my LOVE, for my self :D
Cheeky
J
